Saturday, March 10, 2018

Hurricanes And Calm Seas

My husband and I have been married for twenty years. It will be twenty one years this year and together for twenty three.

Over the years, many people have asked me how we have stayed together so long. To which, I always answer:

"I have no idea."

It's the honest answer, because I truly don't.

When I met my husband, I had no intentions whatsoever of getting married, or having kids, or living any type of domesticated stay at home mommy life.

Nope, nope, nope. Not for me. I am modern. I am sophisticated. I am completely and totally FINE

I was wrong.

He got me.

                                               photo via

It wasn't right away. I held out like a good girl, naturally. We met when we were 15 and were friends up until we were 19. I mean, we're still friends, obviously but we didn't date or start dating for four years. I truly believe that is what built a strong foundation for us in the beginning.

That's not to say that we haven't had our blow outs or don't fight at all. Just ask my children, we've had some roof rattlers. However, we've always managed to work things out through honest communication. 

When I say honest communication, I mean, we don't hold back.
At all.

There's been plenty of times that I absolutely was worried for our relationship. There has never been any infidelity or domestic violence (and in those cases, my advice would be to GET OUT, RUN, DON'T LOOK BACK), he is a good man so I have been lucky there. There were times, though, that I thought the hurricanes were going to take us and blow us away.

We have fought about parenting. We have fought about money. We have fought about friends. We have fought about family.

We have fought about where to put the television in the living room.

You know, the normal things every couple argues about.

Eventually, we always returned to calm seas.

                                                photo via                             

That's not to say that love isn't a part of our relationship. I have known this man for more than half of my life now. His life is my life. His people are my people and vice versa.

The roots are deep. I don't have words for the respect I have for him as a person. He gave me the life I never thought I wanted, but ended up being perfect for me.

So, when people ask me how to maintain a long term relationship, I have no idea. 

I really don't.

I just know that I can brave any hurricane marriage throws at me, for just one day of its calm sea. 

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