Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Time Marches On..

Having grown up children, one who is living on his own, has been....different.

I say different because I still feel like mom, I still talk like mom, I still act like mom, but I'm not cleaning noses, or yelling about cleaning rooms, or taking inedible things out of toddlers' hands.

Those are the things I used to fret over. Some accident or random thing was going to happen to my children so I had to watch them every single second of every single day. 

The things I fret over today, however, are very different. I still fear accidents and randoms, but mostly it's I hope they're wearing their seatbelt, I hope work/school went ok, are they eating enough? Is everything ok in their personal life? Are they struggling quietly and privately (just like good ole mom) and too proud to tell me? 

And on..and on...and on....

You never really stop being mom, it just changes. 

And now, with my second child about to free fall into the world, I am beginning to feel the wind of the empty nest storm moving in.

Worry and pacing the floors at all hours of the night has always been part of my job, so to speak, but now I can't just crack the door open and look at the most wonderful part of my life, laying there sleeping soundly.

I feel a tornado, a hurricane, a tsunami coming. I already know I am going to be a mess, so I just embrace it. It's part of life, right?

To remind myself, and because I have more money now (one of the perks of kids growing up), I have been treating myself to little trinkets here and there. Things I probably would have bought for myself when I was younger but was funneling all of my money into diapers, clothes, and toys. 

I found this necklace on Soul Soup Treasures for a reminder to stay strong, that the weather isn't always going to go my way, and tomorrow is another day and I want to be around to see it. 



Parenting is never easy, regardless of your child's age, but if you can hold on while the wind whips around you, when the rain just keeps coming down, when you feel like everything has been washed away and you're drowning in the sea of worry, just remind yourself that the sun will come back and the rain clouds will retreat... 

It's just a matter of time.

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